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How to Manage Rejection at Work
It is likely to happen to all of us at some point in time during our
career-rejection! You may get passed up for a promotion, your project
may get turned down, or you may fail to get the dream job. No matter
what the cause, rejection feels the same for nearly eveyone.
When a person gets rejected he or she immediately feels terrible.
People feel terrible because they frequently believe that they are
unworthy, unwanted, and no longer desirable. People who have
experienced rejection may also develop both anger and depression.
After a rejected person comes to believe that he or she is unwanted,
becomes angry or depressed, it can take months instead of days to
recover to their normal personality.
In August's Workplace Tip article "Work is Not a Spectator Sport,"
dealt with the importance of seeing work as a "sport" versus a "family."
(If you did not get a chance to read that article click on the above link.)
The article encouraged employees to view themselves as athletes and not
as family members at work. When employees change how they view themselves
at work many new ways of resolving workplace problems develop.
When an employee views himself or herself as an athlete he or she can
recover from rejection within days versus months. Employees can recover
from rejection within days when they learn the same skills athletes learn
when they must recover from rejection.
Skill 1: Increase your performance and do not decrease your performance
following being rejected.
A professional athlete must learn to handle being rejected by his team,
coach, or fans without it affecting his performance in the next game. In
order to manage being rejected, the athlete must mentally separate his
performance from how he feels about himself as a person. A good athlete
knows that when the fans are rejecting his performance, the worse thing he
can do is to reduce his skills and performance level. A time of rejection
calls for the athlete to feel good enough about himself that he can
develop the inner strength necessary to create an even better performance
in the next game or event.
Skill 2: Reframe rejection as performance disappointment.
A good athlete tells himself that he is disappointed with his performance,
not himself, when the fans reject him. An employee can learn to do the same
when he feels workplace rejection. When you are faced with not obtaining a
promotion, it is better to tell yourself, "I am disappointed in my performance"
rather than, "I am disappointed with myself."
The failure to obtain a promotion is only one of many events in your career.
Some workplace events you will "win" and some you will "lose"-it's all part
of the game. Remember that Babe Ruth struck out more than he hit home runs.
Skill 3: Evaluate your own performance.
Who is the best person to most accurately evaluate your performance, you, or
another person? You are the most accurate judge of how well you are performing;
therefore, it is best not to lose sight of this fact after being harshly evaluated
or rejected by another person.
In order to bounce back, you need to continue to believe in yourself.
Skill 4: Reframe rejection as a "bad inning."
Your career is at least nine innings, and in the words of Yogi Berra, "It ain't
over until it's over." One bad inning does not lose the ball game. Regroup as
quickly as possible and start making new plans and new goals.
Happy Working,
Gary Vikesland, MA LP CEAP
Employer-Employee.com
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